Editing for Days

Coming Soon, hopefully!

I will be the first to admit that I dislike editing. You could go so far as to say that I loathe it with a passion. It is tedious. It's time-consuming. At the end of a long day filled with crunching mashed-up thoughts into coherent sentences, there are times when I feel I'm no closer to having my novel published than I was when I sat down and first turned my laptop on. It triggers my impostor syndrome.

Everyone has a daily battle they fight, those unseen wars within themselves. In my particular case, it's the feeling that I'm unable to do this. My mind tells me that I cannot write at a professional level. This is a ridiculous notion. I wrote for a decade. I put food on my table, paid my car payments on time (mostly), and managed to continue, month after month, finding enough new work to keep those publication checks coming. I did it using words. I sold stories by talking up the vehicles and owners I'd discovered in emails to editors worldwide. Persuasive Writing 101. Or, as I liked to call it, "persuasive begging". Life ain't easy for a freelancer.

It turns out it's even harder for a novelist. There are constant pulls on one's time. Distractions. Places to go. Things to do. People who need attention, or comfort, or, I don't know, love maybe? They combine to distort or obscure that "purity of vision" which I feel I have when I'm thinking about a scene. When it's just me and my characters, capturing their actions, their personalities, I have to tune everything else out. I need an isolation booth. A "fortress of solitude" to which I might retreat. And I don't have one of those. Now that it's time to crank the screws down and fully polish my words, this has become a critical need.

This brings me back to where I was at the start of this post: unhappily editing. I AM smart enough (perhaps) to recognize that I am making the book better, but only barely. There's a second story lurking in my mind, with new characters itching to be brought to life. They represent a new challenge to conquer. And I cannot get to that while I remain focused on editing my first book. I did use a professional editor and took many of her suggestions to heart. And then I went back to the drawing board.

I decided to rewrite the beginning and the ending, and shorten everything else, carving away at unnecessary phrases like a sculptor working a lump of clay into a figurine. And at the end of this process, I have been left wondering, "Is it ready?" Is it "great" or merely "good enough"? Will it sell? Will anyone care about these characters as much as I do? This is the last great unknown for a writer.

In forty-five days, I intend to find out.

A great piece of advice I came across last week has stuck with me. "Don't listen to what you are being told to write. Sit down and write the story YOU want to tell." I have issues with agents being blind gatekeepers, ever unsure what the public will want to purchase, being guided by past sales records. This process feels like driving a car in reverse while looking through the windshield. You can clearly see where you were, but not where you are headed. Every movement you make with the steering wheel feels like you are turning in the wrong direction to the point where, if you allow it, the process might overwhelm you. Of course, agents tell you, "Keep trying, another agent might like this more than I did". Or, the ever popular, "I liked it, but I'm not the best person to promote your work." Damning with faint praise is no praise at all. This hasn't helped my impostor syndrome one iota.

My personal favorite has been, "agents and publishers won't touch you without a social platform and a 10k following". If I have to build a presence from scratch, then why should I share the profits with an agent or a publisher? To garner a larger presence in the market while lining their pockets? It's like being told, "To play in the NFL, you must start a team from scratch." Can't I make just as much selling fewer copies on my own? Yoda was right. "Do, or do not. There is no 'try'."

The way I see it, my first novel, Schrödinger’s Heart, will succeed or fail solely upon its own merit. I will do my utmost best to edit, promote, and support it, but, in the end, if it doesn't connect with readers, I hardly need to worry about what agents and publishers think. I plan to offer it through Amazon's Kindle as an e-book first, and through my Books.by webpage (https://books.by/eaeikenberry) as a paperback that anyone anywhere in the world can order and have delivered straight to their door. I WILL finish this editing. I will stick to the plan.

Within fifteen days, the ARC version of Schrödinger’s Heart will land at Booksprout.com. If you'd like to learn more and be on the list to be an early reviewer, please sign up for my newsletter at the bottom of my homepage.